Memories (A Lafayette Angst Drabble)
by hamiltrash.ocd.author
Summary: It suddenly seemed like the darkness around him was closing in, it was hard to breathe. He sat up with a whimper, there was a blanket wrapped around him, but Lafayette was freezing. He tried to move his injured hand but sucked in a breath and yelped as the pain returned twice as bad as the moment before. Lafayette fell to the side and curled up on himself, squeezing his eyes shut.


**Little 9,000 word drabble. It repeats itself a lot, but if you like literal tons of Lafayette angst then here you are, hope you enjoy because it's 21 pages long and exactly 9,000 words. It took me over a week and I am very sleep deprived because of it. Have fun, and leave a review if you made it all the way through in one read. Enjoy!**

The cell was damp and dark, the only light coming from the small window carved just low enough that Lafayette could see through it into the darkness beyond. His leg still throbbed from the gunshot graze he had received in the battle where he'd been captured. He attempted to push himself up slightly so that he could look out the window, but he let out a pained gasp and slumped back down the floor as he accidentally put weight on his broken wrist.

The memory of the previous night came back to him. _The British soldiers hauled him into the small room, all that was in it was a small desk with a blank sheet of paper and a quill and ink. A British officer stood on the far side of the room, watching with amusement as the soldiers dragged Lafayette in. They tossed him into one of the chairs by the small desk. He groaned in pain as his leg was jarred with the movement._

" _What do you want with me?" Lafayette's voice sounded much less confident than it had in his head._

" _You're going to write a letter to Washington telling him to come here to negotiate peace with us." The General said._

 _This had lies written all over it, it was a trap being set for Washington and his troops. There was no way the British would need Lafayette to write the letter for them, if they really wanted to negotiate with Washington, they'd write the letter themselves. So he did the best thing that came to mind, "No." He replied calmly._

 _The General whirled around and grabbed the ink jar, which was almost empty, and slammed it down forcefully onto Lafayette's hand, he stifled a scream as he felt the bones in his wrist and hand break under the force. The soldiers grabbed him by the arms and dragged him back down the hall to his concrete cell._

 _He rolled into the wall and yelped as he felt one of the soldier's feet connect with his side, and they both began to kick relentlessly at him. One soldier's foot plowed into his stomach and Lafayette threw up. He felt another soldier step on his already injured wrist and he cried out in pain as he felt more bones breaking._

 _Lafayette managed to gain enough control to crawl over to the wall and curl up trying his best to shield himself from the brutal attacks._

Lafayette looked down at his injured wrist, it was swollen and the pain was so bad that he was afraid to touch it, for fear of the pain increasing any more. He leaned against the cool concrete wall, shuddering as the cold air blew in from the window. He closed his eyes and a tear slipped down his face.

The next morning was no warmer, and Lafayette woke up shivering and in pain, he was covered in bruises from the beating the night before. He felt like he was going to be sick, and his entire body was on fire. He closed his eyes and tried to return to sleep when the same soldiers from the last time entered his cell.

They grabbed him and dragged him out, Lafayette struggled, but they simply kicked him in the side, causing him to cough up blood, and continued. They entered the same room from before, but this time simply threw him onto the floor.

"Let me tell you this again," The General said, his voice dark, "You're going to write that letter to Washington."

"And let _me_ tell you _this_ again," Lafayette said, his voice strong, although he was terrified, "No."

"That's the wrong choice, but oh well, you'll learn your lesson soon enough." The General stated in a dismissive tone.

The soldiers approached Lafayette from behind and grabbed him, dragging him back to his cell. Instead of throwing him onto the ground one soldier pinned his hands behind his back, holding him still with incredible force. He hadn't been putting weight on his injured leg since he'd been dragged and thrown everywhere, but now, standing still, Lafayette was forced to put weight on it. He was struggling to stay upright as the pain increased rapidly, his leg feeling as though it was on fire.

The stabbing, burning sensation in his shoulder caught him by surprise and he let out a scream of agony as one of the soldiers holding him twisted the flaming hot knife in his shoulder, causing him to fall to the ground in pain. He rolled to the side in a blind panic, but only succeeded in twisting the knife deeper into his shoulder. He rolled around in panic and pain, desperately trying to get the knife out. One of the soldiers reached down and yanked it out mercilessly and they left.

Lafayette was left curled up on his side, shaking, with tears streaming down his face. He was sure that he was going to die, and Lafayette was surprised when he opened his eyes in the morning to see a desk with the ink and quill sitting in the middle of his bloodstained cell.

The General was standing near the table, and a soldier behind it.

"Write."

Lafayette staggered up and tried to take a step towards the table, but he fell. The soldier walked over, grabbed Lafayette by the arm and yanked him over to the table.

"You will write it, or…" The soldier cracked his whip as The General finished his threat.

Lafayette's wrist was badly broken, but he managed to pick the quill up, but when he tried to write, he cried out in pain and dropped the quill.

He screamed as the whip slashed his already wounded shoulder. He hastily picked the quill up and began to write. It was painful, and Lafayette was in tears by the time he finished, but he couldn't take it anymore, hopefully now that he had done what they wanted he'd be spared from the pain.

The General and the soldier left the cell.

Lafayette was barely conscious, he hadn't eaten in almost 4 days, and the pain from his wounds was overwhelming him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"For the 100th time, this is a trick." Hamilton said, becoming exasperated with the situation.

"And for the 1000th time, this is _his_ handwriting." Washington shot back.

It did look like Lafayette's handwriting, but it was messier than usual and looked like it had been written hastily. It was true that they hadn't seen Lafayette in the last four days, which was odd.

"What if we used this opportunity to attack and defeat the British?"

"For the last time, they are tricking us and expect us to show up, so it wouldn't be much of a surprise attack." Hamilton sighed, ready for this conversation to end.

"Hamilton, we haven't seen him in four days, and then a letter randomly appears from him, messy and unclear, telling us the British wish to parley, and you aren't worried about him? We're going, not formally, but if something happened to him..." Washington trailed off.

"Fine. But we should refrain from attacking until when know what forces the British have ready to attack us."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton, Washington, Laurens, and a few other soldiers left camp that night. They rode under the cover of darkness and set up a hidden camp for the day, setting out again after the sun had set. They set up one last hidden camp and left their horses tied up there, making their way into the British camp on foot.

The group spread out and Hamilton made his way to a large concrete building with a small barred window. Hamilton looked in and observed a small cell, he gasped as he noticed a figure, shrouded in shadows, lying motionless in the corner. He looked closer and his eyes widened as the figure moaned quietly and shifted slightly in his sleep, his face turning into the light.

"Washington. Laurens. Get. Over. Here. Now." Hamilton said, almost yelling to get their attention, before remembering where they were.

Washington stopped next to Hamilton and looked in the window.

"Lafayette!" He gasped.

"Laurens come on, let's find a way in." Hamilton ordered.

Laurens joined Hamilton and Washington at the front entrance of the building, the door was locked but Hamilton had an idea. He had Laurens and Washington hoist him up to the open window a few feet above his head, then he crawled through the window and crashed to the floor inside.

He opened the door from the inside and let Washington and Laurens in. The inside of the building was dark, and they spread out, opening any door they came up to.

"Hey, Alexander, this one's locked." Laurens called.

Suddenly someone slammed into Hamilton from behind, he was shoved to the floor as a British soldier planted his foot onto Hamilton's back, holding him down.

A pistol fired from behind the soldier and he fell to the ground, right on top of Hamilton. He grunted and shoved the soldier off as he turned back to see Washington putting back his pistol.

"Thanks." Hamilton grunted, leaning down and taking the ring of keys off the soldier's belt, "We better be quick."

Hamilton unlocked the door and it swung open, and he almost gagged, the room was covered in blood stains, and Lafayette was still slumped in the corner, unmoving. The three men ran over to him and gently shook him.

"Come on, wake up." Hamilton whispered. Nothing happened, Lafayette didn't even stir.

"We need to hurry." Washington ordered, lifting Lafayette by the arms and slinging one arm over his shoulder, Hamilton quickly taking his other arm.

They quickly left the British camp and hurried back to their own temporary camp.

"We can't risk waiting until morning, we should go now." Hamilton said.

The others agreed, Washington and Laurens helped lift Lafayette onto Hamilton's horse. Hamilton shifted so that Lafayette rested against him in a more comfortable position. Washington, Laurens and the other two men mounted their horses and they set off. Hamilton rode slowly, dropping behind the others at his slow pace.

Hamilton felt Lafayette shift in his sleep and was startled when he let out a whimper of pain and turned his face away from Hamilton.

"Lafayette?" Hamilton asked quietly.

He heard Lafayette inhale a raspy breath, but he said nothing.

They set up camp the next night, but they had left their tent and most of their supplies at their last camp in their haste to leave. Luckily Laurens had one blanket, which he laid out for Lafayette.

They shared what was left of their food in silence, shivering from the cold. Lafayette was laying on Laurens' blanket, shaking. Hamilton took first watch, and the others tried their best to find a comfortable place to sleep. Hamilton sat down against a tree next to where Lafayette was laying. He was curled up on his side, shaking horribly. It dawned on Hamilton that they hadn't even checked him for wounds in their haste, and it was obvious that he was hurt.

Hamilton gently shifted Lafayette onto his back so that he could catalog his injuries. He slipped off Lafayette's ruined tunic and gasped as he laid eyes on his shoulder. There was a deep whip slash mark and it looked like he had been stabbed with a hot knife. He grabbed the corner of the blanket Lafayette was on and ripped it off, using it as a bandage for Lafayette's shoulder. As soon as he touched the wound to wrap the bandage around it, Lafayette whimpered and rolled onto his side, curling up again.

"I'm sorry, but you need to lay back down so that I can bandage your wounds." Hamilton said quietly.

Lafayette's shivering intensified, "Pleaseno hurts." His words were slurred.

Hamilton gently pushed him back onto his back, "I'm sorry, but your hurt and we don't want your wounds getting infected."

Lafayette's eyes were glazed over and there were tear tracks down his face, "to late." He mumbled.

Hamilton pressed the fabric down onto Lafayette's shoulder, causing him to cry out and attempt to struggle away. Hamilton pushed Lafayette back down onto his back, and he let out a gasp and a whimper, shaking even more with tears now streaming down his face. He drew in a shaky breath. Neither of them said another word as Hamilton finished tying the bandage on.

"Situp... please." Lafayette asked, his voice slightly panicked. Hamilton obliged and helped him roll onto his side. He started coughing and couldn't manage to stop or take a breath, then just as he was able to gasp for air, he threw up onto the ground.

Hamilton immediately felt bad for forcing Lafayette to lay on his back, realizing how that must have felt. He realized, when Lafayette had slumped back down onto his back, that his stomach and sides were covered with huge bruises. His eyes flicked to Lafayette's hands, he was gripping the blanket very tightly with one hand, but the other was held slightly above the ground. He examined it and realized that it was very swollen and obviously broken. When he reached down to touch Lafayette's hand Lafayette screamed in pain, louder than any other sound he'd made during their journey.

"What happened?" Hamilton asked, astonished.

Lafayette's voice was almost inaudible, "Smashed with an ink jar and stepped on."

That was why the handwriting in the letter was so messy, Lafayette's hand and wrist had been broken and then he'd been forced to write with it. He couldn't imagine how much that hurt. And unfortunately, there wasn't anything Hamilton could do to help.

Hamilton didn't see any more injuries, but he had to be sure, "Where else are you hurt?" He asked.

"Bullet...leg" Lafayette slurred, becoming delirious.

Hamilton checked his left leg, and sure enough, there was a bullet graze wound. It was not terrible on its own but combined with Lafayette's other injuries it was not good. But all that Hamilton could do was wrap it in a makeshift bandage. He ripped another piece off Laurens' blanket and used it to bind Lafayette's leg.

Lafayette whimpered, but he was becoming more and more tired and he could only feel the cold, even the sound of Hamilton's voice was fading. He could feel Hamilton shaking him, but just barely, and his body refused to respond to him.

Hamilton shook Lafayette harder, and Lafayette's eyes rolled back in his head. Lafayette's body went slack, and he was unresponsive.

"HELP!" Hamilton screamed, waking up Washington.

He rushed over, "What's going on?" He asked, worried and out of breath.

"He was awake and aware, and then he just stopped moving and he wouldn't respond to me." Hamilton was in a panic.

"Laurens." Washington ordered, "Give me your water skin." Laurens obliged and gave it to Washington, who opened it and dumped it on Lafayette's face. Lafayette gasped and rolled over, off the blanket, and curled up into a ball, shaking.

Hamilton laid a hand on Lafayette's shoulder, trying to comfort him, but he flinched away and whimpered.

They set off early the next morning, and Lafayette was still asleep despite being on a horse all morning with Hamilton. He moaned quietly in his sleep, every once in a while, letting out a whimper if Hamilton was going too fast.

It was almost nightfall when Hamilton realized that Lafayette was not asleep. He'd started trotting on his horse and suddenly Lafayette's eyes snapped open and he threw up over the side of the horse.

He didn't say a word, but he immediately slowed the horse as Lafayette slumped back down, burying his face into Hamilton's tunic.

By the time they set up camp for the night Lafayette had fallen asleep again. They had nothing to eat and water was scarce, bringing everyone's spirits down. Washington offered to take watch, but Hamilton couldn't sleep so he took first watch for the second time in two days.

Hamilton was staring out into the forest, lost in thought when he heard muffled sobs coming from Lafayette's direction. He got up and walked over, Lafayette was laying on his side, coughing up blood, curling further in on himself the more he coughed. The sounds were painful, and he could see the tears running down Lafayette's face. He crouched by Lafayette and gently laid a hand in his arm, trying to soothe him.

Hamilton noticed how cold Lafayette looked, he was shaking uncontrollably, and he was laying on the cold ground with no blanket. He turned back and ran to Laurens' blanket, set out in the ground where Lafayette was supposed to be sleeping. He took it and covered Lafayette in it.

His shaking died down a little bit, but he was still coughing horribly. He hadn't eaten in the last six days at least, and they were low on water. Hamilton himself only had a few drops left in his water skin.

"Hey," Hamilton said quietly, opening his water skin, "Want a drink?"

Lafayette nodded his head desperately. Hamilton helped him sit somewhat up upright, but he was mostly leaning against Hamilton for support, and handed him the water skin. There were only a few drops left, and Lafayette gulped them down quickly.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Lafayette coughed in a raspy voice, "It's all… all my fault… I… I… made you" he gasped for air, "come…here." He was so out of breath Hamilton wasn't sure if he'd breathed once during that sentence.

"Don't say that. It is _not_ your fault, you were captured and tortured. None of this is your fault understand?" Hamilton said, his voice tight.

Lafayette said nothing, and he slumped down so that he way laying, curled up, next to Hamilton. He took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was past midnight when Lafayette next awoke, and Hamilton was asleep next to him, and he could see the silhouette of Laurens sitting against a tree on the other edge of camp. He didn't want to leave Hamilton and the warm blanket to go out into the cold, but he felt horribly sick and he didn't want to wake Hamilton up. He stumbled, biting back a cry of pain, and tripped over a tree root, crashing to the ground. Lafayette landed on his hands, trying to steady himself, and screamed as he felt his wrist explode with red hot pain. He slumped to the ground as the pain increased and he screamed again.

 _Suddenly he was being forced to write again, and the pain was unbearable, his entire arm was on fire and he could barely breathe._

He felt hands on his shoulders, shaking him gently. "Lafayette snap out of it!" A far of voice called.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Laurens woke Hamilton up, the first thing he realized was that Lafayette wasn't asleep next to him. Another scream shattered the nighttime quiet and both men ran towards the source.

Hamilton could see Washington, crouched over Lafayette, gently shaking him and whispering in a soothing voice to him. Lafayette was trembling, his broken wrist held up a few inches off the ground.

Washington's voice took on a more commanding tone, "We need to get him to a doctor as quickly as possible, Laurens, get Hamilton's horse." Laurens nodded and ran off. "Hamilton, ride as fast as possible west, and as soon as you get there, demand to get a doctor, if they say no tell them it's an order from me and we'll arrive soon after you."

Hamilton nodded. He mounted his horse and took Lafayette, as he had done for the past few days. He turned and rode off.

Lafayette moaned, he seemed to be caught in a dream of some sort, or a flashback, Hamilton thought.

They arrived at the camp shortly. "HELP!" Hamilton yelled, "WE NEED A DOCTOR!" A few nurses led Hamilton to a tent, where he set Lafayette in the cot.

The doctor arrived and took one look at Lafayette, before deciding he was in critical condition. He looked at Lafayette's shoulder first, examining the burn wound. He very carefully took out a wet cloth and cleaned it.

Lafayette awoke, his eyes filling with tears, he whimpered in pain and tried to shift away, but the doctor held him still.

Desperate to relieve some of his friend's suffering, Hamilton took Lafayette's good hand. He immediately felt Lafayette squeezing his hand, and it was almost painful. But Hamilton remembered the amount of pain that Lafayette was in and ignored the pain in his hand.

The doctor finished, and moved on to the whip wound, cleaning it quickly and then bandaging both with clean, white bandages. The doctor then cleaned Lafayette's leg wound, and Hamilton heard a quiet whimper. When the doctor was done he looked at Lafayette with pity, moving down to his hand.

The doctor tried to gently feel Lafayette's hand to determine what bones were broken, but Lafayette cried out and desperately tried to move away.

"Forgive me." Hamilton whispered, grabbing Lafayette's shoulders and forcing him to stay still. He stared at Hamilton with a mix of pain and betrayal as the doctor continued, tears running down his face.

Washington stepped into the tent, looking relieved to see Lafayette alive.

"How is he?" He asked Hamilton, the doctor still at work.

"In pain." Hamilton replied.

The doctor pushed two bones back into their place, and Lafayette screamed and threw himself away, straining against Hamilton's hold. Washington joined him, and Lafayette screamed as another bone was moved, but he couldn't move.

Lafayette's screams pierced Hamilton's heart, he hated how defeated and pained Lafayette sounded. And how terrified he looked when he could not move away from the doctor.

The doctor moved the last few bones, and then used pieces of wood and bandages to splint Lafayette's wrist so that he could not move his hand.

The doctor left, and Washington did too. It looked like Lafayette was asleep, so Hamilton made for the exit as well, when a hand grabbed his coat.

"Please… I… I… don't want to be alone." Lafayette coughed.

"It's okay, I'll stay." Hamilton replied, moving to sit down next to the cot.

It was hardly a minute before Lafayette fell asleep. He seemed at peace, so Hamilton closed his eyes, and was soon asleep as well.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton woke up, it was evening and the light in the tent was dim. Hamilton was leaning onto the side of Lafayette's cot. He heard a quiet sob followed by a whimper, and then he saw Lafayette roll off the side of the cot, crashing to the ground. Lafayette let out a yelp and gasped for air.

"Lafayette?" Hamilton asked, walking behind the cot, Lafayette was laying on his back, shaking, his eyes were wide open and staring at something that wasn't there. "Lafayette, come on, talk to me."

Lafayette gasped, he tried to sit up but fell back, his face pale.

"What happened?" Hamilton asked, sitting down next to Lafayette. He sensed his friend needed to talk.

Lafayette managed to push himself partially up, leaning against his cot for support. "I… I was in the cell. It was burning, I… I tried to make it stop but it wouldn't. Everything was on fire… it hurt so much, and they were just laughing."

Hamilton moved over and wrapped his arms around Lafayette. Lafayette buried his face into Hamilton's shoulder and drew in a shaky breath. "I'm sorry." He whispered into Hamilton's shoulder.

His fault, Lafayette thought it was his fault. It was anything but his fault. He'd been tortured, and he thought it was his fault. He hugged Lafayette tighter, "It's not your fault, if anything, it's ours because we didn't do anything until we received that letter."

Lafayette sniffed, the memory suddenly came back to him and he pushed away from Hamilton. He turned away, whimpering as he remembered the feeling of the bones in his wrist cracking. He curled in on himself, throwing up as he remembered the soldier's boot plowing into his stomach.

"Lafayette?" Hamilton asked, becoming worried. Lafayette was hunched over, vomiting. He'd seemed okay a minute before, but now he was sick.

Lafayette slumped against the cot, his breathing heavy, "I'm sorry... I… I…"

"You went back to that place." Hamilton finished Lafayette's thought. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he knew he was correct when Lafayette nodded.

Hamilton helped Lafayette up and back onto his cot. Lafayette was exhausted, but he couldn't seem to find sleep. Hamilton was already asleep, snoring on the ground next to his cot. The sound didn't bother Lafayette, not after the cold silence of his cell, it let him know that someone else was there for him. He finally drifted off into sleep.

 _The door of his cell opened, and a guard came in, it was the middle of the night, but Lafayette was awake, staring out the small window of his cell. The soldiers foot slammed into him from behind, shoving his face hard into the bars of the window. Lafayette slid to the floor and rolled to the side to avoid a kick from the soldier. He scrambled across the small room and into the corner, pressing himself to the wall._

" _Please!" He gasped desperately, pressing himself further and further against the wall._

 _The soldier kicked Lafayette in the chest, and he felt something snap. He gasped for air and tried to move away, but the soldier grabbed him by the arm yanking him up. He gasped as he felt the soldier's knife stab into his arm. The soldier whirled around and shoved Lafayette into the wall, leaving him unconscious and wounded._

Lafayette gasped, sitting up in his cot. He hurt all over and it was hard for him to breathe. He held his breath for a moment, listening for Hamilton's snoring, but there was no sound.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton got up early, he was starving, and he'd never gotten a chance to eat the day before. He walked out into the camp, heading over to Laurens, who was eating deer with a few other soldiers.

"Got anything to spare?" Hamilton asked, sitting down next to Laurens.

"Sure," Laurens handed him some, "Good to see you up and out, how's Lafayette?"

Hamilton took a small bite, and then devoured his piece of deer in a matter of seconds.

"Wow, someone's hungry." Laurens laughed.

"You try not eating for three days." Hamilton replied, "And Lafayette…" He trailed off.

"What? Is he okay?" Laurens asked, worried.

"He's in pain, and… he, he kept remembering being tortured by those British soldiers. It was like he was reliving those moments." Hamilton's voice was quiet as he finished.

"We should take some food to him, I don't think he's eaten in a while." Laurens replied.

They took some pieces of deer to Lafayette's tent. When they entered they saw the cot tipped over, the blankets strewn around the cot. They could see Lafayette crouched behind the cot.

"Lafayette?" Laurens asked, approaching the tipped over cot.

Lafayette let out a choked sob as Laurens stepped over the cot.

"Laurens stop." Hamilton hissed. He could see Lafayette's terrified expression and the way he shrank back every time Laurens stepped forward.

"What?" Laurens asked, turning back.

"Get back over here." Hamilton ordered.

Laurens walked back slowly, giving Hamilton a confused look. "Just stay by the entrance to the tent, okay." Hamilton said.

Laurens gave Hamilton another confused look but stepped away.

Hamilton slowly approached the cot, but instead of crossing over it, he sat down right next to it. He saw Lafayette relax slightly. "What happened?" He asked quietly.

"I was back there again." Lafayette whispered.

Hamilton quietly inched his way past the cot, stopping when he saw Lafayette tense again.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you." Hamilton whispered reassuringly.

Lafayette slumped forward, curling up away from Hamilton. "Please make it stop." He whimpered almost inaudibly. He suddenly started coughing, doubling over in pain.

"Hey, Lafayette, come on, come back to us." Hamilton put a hand on Lafayette's shoulder.

Lafayette finally ceased his coughing and breathed in a shaky breath. He slumped against Hamilton, exhausted.

"It's okay." Hamilton said reassuringly, he motioned to Laurens who was still standing by the entrance. Laurens stepped forward and to Hamilton's relief Lafayette didn't flinch. "You hungry?" Hamilton asked quietly.

Lafayette nodded. Hamilton helped him lean against the fallen cot and gave him a piece of deer meat. Lafayette ate slowly, even though he must not have eaten for almost a week. When he was finished he leaned back and coughed weakly, exhausted by the simple task of eating.

Laurens stepped over the cot and sat down next to Hamilton, reaching over and grabbing one of the blankets strewn on the floor. He gently wrapped it around Lafayette's sleeping form.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 _First it was the sound of the bones breaking, the horrible flaming hot pain as the bones in his hand and wrist broke. Then he could feel the feathered quill, the horrible stinging as he strained his broken bones. He screamed in pain, and then heard the whip crack against his skin, he desperately grabbed the quill and began to write, trying to ignore the white-hot pain in his wrist._

He jolted awake with a cry of pain. It was dark around him, but Lafayette could see Hamilton and Laurens, both asleep near him. It suddenly seemed like the darkness around him was closing in, it was hard to breathe. He sat up with a whimper, there was a blanket wrapped around him, but Lafayette was freezing. He tried to move his injured hand but sucked in a breath and yelped as the pain returned twice as bad as the moment before. He fell to the side and curled up on himself, squeezing his eyes shut. Wishing desperately that someone would help him. He rocked back and forth, whimpering as tears rolled down his face. "Please, make it stop, please…" He whimpered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton yawned, he was laying uncomfortably on the floor. He sat up, they were still behind the fallen cot. He could see Laurens snoring in the corner of the tent, farthest away from the cot, and Lafayette was curled directly next to the cot, his entire body underneath the blanket. Hamilton rolled over and closed his eyes to go back to sleep when he heard a sob. He rolled back over and saw Lafayette shudder. He immediately knew what was happening, he jumped up and approached Lafayette slowly, "Lafayette, hey, what's wrong?"

"Make it stop, please." Lafayette whimpered, shivering under the blanket. Hamilton noticed and grabbed another blanket. He gently lifted Lafayette up so that he was leaning against him and wrapped the other blanket around Lafayette's shoulders. Lafayette looked exhausted and fevered. He opened his bloodshot eyes and then closed them, turning his face into Hamilton's shoulder and whimpering weakly.

Hamilton hugged Lafayette, he wasn't sure what was going on with him, and he didn't know how, but he was going to do whatever he could to try and help Lafayette.

He could feel Lafayette shivering, and he pulled the blankets tighter around his trembling friend.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So…" Washington trailed off as he stepped into the tent, the cot was tipped on its side and there were blankets strewn around it. He could see Laurens, siting in the corner of the tent, chewing on a piece of deer meat. "What happened here?" Washington asked as he walked over to the fallen cot.

"They looked so peaceful, I didn't want to bother them." Laurens said quietly.

Washington spotted Hamilton laying against the cot, snoring, he could see Lafayette, curled up against Hamilton under several blankets. Washington crouched down by Lafayette, and that was when he noticed the blood. Soaking through the thin blankets around Lafayette's shoulders. He lifted the blankets and found the source, the stab wound in his shoulder had reopened. He lifted Lafayette off Hamilton, ignoring the cry and whimper of pain Lafayette let out.

"Whatzzwrong?" Hamilton gasped as he stumbled up.

"Get that cot back up." Washington ordered.

Hamilton set the cot upright and grabbed a handful of blankets as Washington set an unconscious Lafayette onto the cot. Lafayette whimpered and twisted to the side, grabbing hold of Washington's shirtsleeve and mumbling incoherently.

"Laurens get the doctor. Now." Washington hissed, stepping back toward Lafayette. He took Lafayette's good hand in his and gently squeezed.

Hamilton came over with the blankets and laid them over Lafayette who was shivering slightly.

"You requested my presence, General?" The doctor entered the tent.

"Yes," Washington replied, "It looks like his wound has reopened."

The doctor began to inspect the wound, but when he touched Lafayette, Lafayette flinched away and cried out. Hamilton grabbed Lafayette by the shoulders and pinned him down. Lafayette stared up at Hamilton with an angry and betrayed expression.

The doctor took his chance to press a wet cloth to the wound. Lafayette screamed in pain and lashed out, slapping Hamilton away with his injured hand since his other hand was being held by Washington. The action caused him to scream again in agony, but it freed him from Hamilton's hold. He stumbled up, ripping his uninjured hand out of Washington's grasp. He ran out of the tent, stumbling and holding his injured hand firmly.

"Lafayette!" Hamilton called, rushing out to follow him. He emerged from the tent just in time to see Lafayette fall to the ground. He rushed over, Lafayette was laying on his back, eyes closed, panting. "Hey," He said quietly, coming to stand next to Lafayette.

"Please, leave me be." Lafayette said, turning away from Hamilton.

"We need to stitch up your shoulder, you're bleeding." Hamilton replied.

"I can't breathe in there." Lafayette mumbled.

"I'm sorry, but we need to stop the bleeding." Hamilton could see that there was more blood soaking through the ripped fabric of Lafayette's tunic. He gently slid his hands under Lafayette's knees and shoulders, lifting him up and carrying him back to the tent.

Lafayette whimpered as Hamilton set him back on the cot, trying to turn away from everyone. Hamilton pushed him back onto his back and the doctor began to clean the wound out with a wet cloth. Lafayette's breathing was hoarse and wet, and every breath sounded pained. Lafayette started trembling, tuning his face away from the others.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton looked up, the sky was dark, he stepped out of the tent, breathing in the cool night's air. Washington was still in the tent, asleep on the floor, and Laurens had left to help with hunting. Hamilton made his way to the edge of the camp, trying to be quiet and not bother anyone who was sleeping. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep, not in the tent where the air was thick, and Lafayette was constantly tossing and turning in his fevered sleep.

He had an odd idea, it seemed childish at first, but it was the middle of the night and Hamilton didn't really care. He found the first tree with low branches that he could see and climbed up all the way to the top.

"They'll never know what hit them." A gleeful voice made its way to Hamilton's ears, weaving its way through the maze of trees around him.

"Shut up!" Another voice hissed.

Hamilton sat up, these were not the soldiers on watch.

"Hurry, we're almost there."

"We better get back that prisoner and some others tonight."

"Remember, be quiet, we don't want to wake up too many of those filthy rebels. Just grab and go, understand?"

It dawned on him, these were the British soldiers who had been holding Lafayette captive, and they were coming to get him and most likely Hamilton, Laurens, and Washington as well.

Hamilton was too close to the soldiers to risk jumping out of the tree, so he instead crept across one of the branches, praying that it didn't break under his weight. He jumped from tree to tree, amazed that he had not yet fallen from the canopy of trees he was in. Hamilton reached the camp, near the tent where he knew Washington and Lafayette were. He jumped down from the trees, breaking into a run as soon as his feet hit the ground. He burst into the tent, panting in a frenzy.

"Washington!" Hamilton tried not to yell.

"What's wrong?!" Washington asked, almost yelling.

"SHHH!" Hamilton shushed him, "Stay quiet, a group of British soldiers are here."

"Then we need to alert everyone!" Washington ordered, standing up.

"No! We won't have enough time, we just need to take them out silently. We need to take them by surprise, incase they have reinforcements coming." Hamilton replied.

Washington nodded. The two of them exited the tent quietly, suddenly a British soldier called out and Hamilton jumped back as a bullet whizzed by, just barely missing him.

"Stay here!" Washington ordered, "Now we need to alert everyone about the attack." His tone was harsh, and he was clearly angry at Hamilton.

As Washington turned and sped away, a group of British soldiers came forward, advancing on Hamilton.

"Remember to wound not kill, I want them alive." A sinister voice commanded the troops.

Hamilton attempted to fight back, but he was quickly knocked over and taken hold of by the soldiers, they brought him to the foot of the General, dragging him along as the general shouted orders.

"Make sure _no one_ follows us." The General ordered.

Hamilton was dragged to the center of the group of soldiers, next to Lafayette, who hung unconscious, between the two soldiers dragging him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was a long and uncomfortable journey back to British camp, and Hamilton was worried, the whole way Lafayette had not woken up the only noise he made was the occasional whimper of pain.

Hamilton's shoulder collided painfully with the hard stone of the cell. It was the same one that they had rescued Lafayette from days before. Lafayette was laying near the far wall of the cell, unmoving.

Hamilton got up and walked over slowly, noticing how Lafayette's breath hitched and he shivered slightly as Hamilton laid a hand on his shoulder.

Lafayette whimpered, and his eyes flickered open. He jumped up, his eyes wide in fear and panic, and proceeded to press himself into the corner, shaking harder than Hamilton had ever seen.

Hamilton approached Lafayette and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could do so Lafayette threw himself onto Hamilton, clutching his coat. "Please!" he begged, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall, "Tell me its just a dream!" Lafayette buried his face into Hamilton's coat, shaking and sobbing. He clutched Hamilton's coat so tightly that his knuckles turned white, Hamilton gently hugged Lafayette, whispering in a comforting tone.

Lafayette eventually fell asleep, and Hamilton let Lafayette use his lap as a pillow while he slept.

The truth was, Hamilton was terrified as well, he wasn't what was going to happen to them. It was early morning when a soldier arrived, he yanked Hamilton up, and chained him by his ankle to the wall. He then proceeded to kick Lafayette until he woke up, gasping for air. The soldier yanked Lafayette up, holding him so that he was unable to struggle away. Another soldier entered the room, holding a knife and whip.

"No!" Hamilton yelled as the soldier cracked the whip. It only earned him a hard kick to the stomach that made him double over.

The soldier turned a flicked the whip again, and it connected with Lafayette's side, he gasped for air and desperately tried to struggle away. After a few more whippings, and one to the side of Hamilton's face for speaking out again, the soldier drew his knife and stepped out of the cell.

Lafayette began to desperately struggle in the other soldier's grasp, but the soldier held tightly. The other soldier stepped back in, this time holding a glowing and obviously very hot knife. Lafayette's terrified eyes locked with Hamilton's, he could see the dread, fear, and pain all mixed together in them.

The soldier approached and stabbed Lafayette in the leg with the flaming hot knife, smiling as he screamed in a frenzy and desperately tried to escape, his movements only twisting the knife further.

Hamilton lunged forward, but the chain on the wall kept him from reaching Lafayette. The soldiers smiled to each other, and dropped Lafayette, laughing as he fell onto his face, and left, locking the cell door behind them.

The chain on his ankle kept Hamilton from reaching Lafayette, but Hamilton stretched as far as his body would allow and grabbed Lafayette's hand. He tried to pull Lafayette forward, but he cried out and Hamilton stopped. Lafayette was lying face down on the ground, in a pool of blood, and he made a horrible gasping wet sound whenever he took in a breath of air.

Hamilton took a breath, he needed to make sure Lafayette wasn't to badly injured. He grabbed Lafayette's hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze before pulling Lafayette forward. Lafayette let out a wet sounding scream as Hamilton pulled him to the wall that he was chained to. Lafayette cried out in pain as Hamilton rolled him onto his back.

Hamilton frowned, he could tell the knife was twisted deep into Lafayette's leg. He gently felt the wound, searching for the handle of the blade. Lafayette cried out, but Hamilton ignored him. He felt the handle of the knife and grabbed it, yanking it out quickly, Lafayette let out another frenzied scream, twisting away from Hamilton.

"I'm sorry," Hamilton said, feeling the guilt of everything he'd done to Lafayette while trying to help him.

"You… you should've just left me… it would save you… the trouble…" Lafayette gasped, tears running down his face.

Hamilton put pressure on the wound, causing Lafayette to whimper. Lafayette was lying in a pool of his own blood, coming from the stab wound in his leg and the whip wounds. Hamilton reached over and ripped a part of his coat off, using it to tie a tight bandage around Lafayette's leg.

Hamilton moved to lean against the wall, pulling Lafayette up against him so that his head and shoulders rested on Hamilton's lap. Lafayette let out a shaky breath and turned his face into Hamilton's stomach, leaning into the warmth of another person as he shivered.

The night passed too quickly, and Hamilton woke up shivering. Lafayette was pressed against him, shivering as well. He gently felt Lafayette's head, noticing how fevered he looked as he slept. Hamilton gently shook Lafayette as he realized he was very fevered.

"No…" Lafayette called out in his sleep, whimpering quietly.

Hamilton pulled Lafayette closer and into a hug. His heart twisted as he heard Lafayette sob quietly. Hamilton hugged Lafayette tighter as he heard footsteps coming from the hallway. The door flew open, revealing the same two British soldiers that had come the day before. They looked down at Hamilton and Lafayette, curled up against each other in the corner of the cold cell, and laughed.

"And those are the _boys_ who are helping lead this revolt. Face it, you're no more than children fighting for a cause that has seduced you with false promises of power." One of the soldiers snickered.

Hamilton felt Lafayette grab onto him, tensing as his breathing quickened. One of the soldiers grabbed him by the leg, yanking him back. Lafayette desperately tried to struggle away, grabbing for Hamilton's hand desperately, but the soldier dragged him away. The soldier pulled Lafayette to his feet, and his head fell back. He was on the brink of unconsciousness.

"And to think _this_ is the famous Major General Lafayette." The soldier snickered. He shook Lafayette laughing again as he whimpered in pain, "He's no more than a child."

Hamilton could see a tear run down Lafayette's face, and he jumped up. "What do you want with us?!" He yelled, coming as close to the soldier as his chain would allow.

"Oh, nothing much, you'll just be used as incentive to force the rebels to surrender." And with that he dropped Lafayette, who fell to the ground almost lifelessly, and left with the other soldier, both still laughing.

Hamilton pulled Lafayette to a hug, looking down worriedly at Lafayette's face, he was obviously fevered, probably caught in a dream. He heard Lafayette moan feverishly and Hamilton pulled him closer.

It was hardly a few hours before the soldiers returned, they roughly yanked Hamilton up, unchaining him, and then yanked Lafayette up as well, forcing him to stand up on his own. Hamilton could see that Lafayette was on the brink of unconsciousness, and that he wasn't going to be able to walk anywhere very far.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

They had almost arrived to the battle front when Lafayette passed out, he didn't have any energy left and so when one of the soldiers prodded him, he just fell to the ground.

They arrived to the front, Lafayette being dragged by two soldiers. Hamilton tried to keep his gaze down, but he could see the American troops, several feet away, ready to attack. Hamilton saw the moment Washington saw him and Lafayette, his eyes widening.

"Surrender to us, or watch them die."

Hamilton looked at Washington directly in the eyes and shook his head slightly, it wasn't worth it. Hamilton saw Washington look at Lafayette, who was unconscious, held up only by the soldier, his hair had come loose from its usual ponytail and hung over his face. Washington signaled silently to the soldiers behind him, who fired their muskets in rounds. Hamilton struggled away from the soldier holding him, and dropped to the ground, trying to avoid the gunfire coming from both sides. He rolled to the side, and crashed into a British soldier's legs, causing him to fall down. The soldier happened to be the one holding Lafayette, who fell down as well, landing next to Hamilton. Hamilton grabbed Lafayette and managed to drag him into a small groove created by the roots of a very large tree, and there they stayed, hidden, for the remainder of the battle.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It had been hours, and the battle had ended with a British retreat. Hamilton had drifted off into sleep, exhausted.

"HAMILTON! LAFAYETTE!" Washington's yells roused Hamilton.

"Down here!" Hamilton called back, siting up and climbing out of the tree roots so that Washington could see him. He waved his arms and caught Washington's attention. He gently lifted Lafayette out of the roots as Washington approached, rushing toward them. Washington led Hamilton, who carried an unconscious Lafayette, back to the camp.

It was another long walk, and Hamilton almost collapsed as soon as he had set Lafayette on the cot in his tent. Lafayette had a fever, and he wouldn't wake up.

"You should go get some rest." Washington offered, putting a hand on Hamilton's shoulders, "I'll stay with him."

"I can't go." Hamilton replied, "He's gonna be scared when he wakes up, I'm… I'm the only one who understands… who he'll trust."

"Then at least sleep in that chair," Washington gestured to the chair by Lafayette's cot, "I'll wake you up if he wakes up."

Hamilton nodded, he sat down and almost instantly, sleep claimed him.

Hamilton awoke to Washington shaking him, he sat up, turning to look at Lafayette. Lafayette was laying on his back, eyes wide open and terrified.

Hamilton got up, moving to Lafayette's side, "Hey it's okay, we're safe now." He said gently.

Lafayette's eyes widened and he started trembling, "Ple…please…" He gasped in a small voice, "What…what do you want? I'll…I'll do anything…just please…anything…" Lafayette sounded terrified.

"He said the same thing to me when he first woke up, I think it's the fever, he doesn't know where he is, and it's scaring him." Washington said quietly.

Lafayette let out a shaky breath and turned away from them, mumbling incoherently.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hey, Lafayette." Hamilton said quietly, trying to wake up his friend, "You need to eat."

Lafayette opened his eyes and Hamilton was relived that Lafayette seemed to recognize him.

"Non, not hungry." Lafayette whispered, his French accent thick.

"You can't not be hungry. Neither of us have eaten in 4 days, we're both hungry." Hamilton replied, shoving a piece of deer meat in his mouth, and offering another piece to Lafayette.

Lafayette pushed his hand away weakly, "Please, 'm not hungry." He whispered, then his voice took on a scared tone, "Alex, where are we?"

Hamilton looked down at Lafayette, worried, "We…we survived the battle, we're back in the American camp."

"What…" Suddenly Lafayette hunched over, coughing uncontrollably. He gasped for air curling in on himself as tears streamed down his face. Hamilton sat down next to Lafayette, trying to comfort him.

"Slow down, just breathe slowly, in… out…" Hamilton helped Lafayette lean against him, "Just breathe with me, it'll be okay." Hamilton breathed slowly until he felt Lafayette's breathing even out. Lafayette's head fell back on Hamilton's shoulder, his eyes closed.

"It's gonna be okay..." Hamilton whispered, wishing he could believe it.

Hamilton laid Lafayette back onto the cot, but immediately lifted him back off as he heard Lafayette's breathing become raspy. Hamilton spent most of the night siting upright in Lafayette's cot, holding his friend up so he could breathe comfortably while he slept.

"No…please…" Lafayette whimpered in his sleep, waking Hamilton, who had dosed off. Hamilton looked at his friend, he was still slumped against Hamilton, but he was tense, his fists clenched and tears running down his face.

"It's gonna be okay, shhh, it'll be okay." Hamilton whispered, rubbing Lafayette's shoulders in a comforting way. Lafayette turned, curling up and hiding his face in Hamilton's shoulder. Hamilton hugged him, tears slipping down his own face.

Every time Hamilton closed his eyes he saw the cell again, heard Lafayette scream again, felt the chain on his ankle yank him back again. He tried to focus on the present, hugging Lafayette tightly to make sure he was still there, but he just couldn't seem to leave the cell in his memories.

It was then that he truly understood what Lafayette was going through, not just physical pain, but the memories. Feeling like you were reliving the past, being unable to escape the horrible memories, every scream piercing Hamilton's soul, every yank of the chain ripping out his heart. Lafayette, desperately holding onto Hamilton, begging him to say that it was just a dream. The soldier grinning as he stabbed Lafayette and watched him roll around in agony. The sound of gunshots and yelling echoing around Hamilton as he hid, hoping no one found him and Lafayette. Lafayette's hacking cough as he desperately tired to draw in a breath, his raspy breathing when Hamilton had tried to lay him down.

Hamilton hugged Lafayette tighter, he just wanted this to be all over, he wanted to go back in time so that none of the past 2 weeks had happened. He wanted to laugh with his friends again, tell jokes and share stories. He didn't want to be tormented by memories of the past, knowing there was nothing he could've done, nor could do to help Lafayette's suffering.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 _Click, thump, click, thump._

 _The soldier's steppes filled in the short gaps between the sound of Hamilton's pounding heart._

 _Click, thump, click thump._

 _The door flew open, revealing the same two British soldiers that had come the day before. They looked down at Hamilton and Lafayette, curled up against each other in the corner of the cold cell, and laughed._

" _And those are the boys who are helping lead this revolt. Face it, you're no more than children fighting for a cause that has seduced you with false promises of power." One of the soldiers snickered._

 _Click, thump._

 _Hamilton felt Lafayette grab onto him, tensing as his breathing quickened. One of the soldiers grabbed him by the leg, yanking him back. Lafayette desperately tried to struggle away, grabbing for Hamilton's hand desperately, but the soldier dragged him away. The soldier pulled Lafayette to his feet, and his head fell back. He was on the brink of unconsciousness._

" _And to think this is the famous Major General Lafayette." The soldier snickered. He shook Lafayette laughing again as he whimpered in pain, "He's no more than a child."_

 _Hamilton could see a tear run down Lafayette's face, and he jumped up. "What do you want with us?!" He yelled, coming as close to the soldier as his chain would allow._

" _Oh, nothing much, you'll just be used as incentive to force the rebels to surrender." And with that he dropped Lafayette, who fell to the ground almost lifelessly, and left with the other soldier._

 _Hamilton pulled Lafayette to a hug, looking down worriedly at Lafayette's face, he was obviously fevered, probably caught in a dream. He heard Lafayette moan feverishly and Hamilton pulled him closer._

 _Click, thump, click, thump, click, thump…thump._

 _The sound of the soldiers' steps faded away until the only sound was Hamilton's pounding heartbeat._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hamilton woke up in cold sweat, he was curled up on the cot, Lafayette pressed against him, shaking. He let out a shaky breath.

 _One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight, one two three four five six seven eight, onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight._

Hamilton counted to eight in his head faster and faster, distracting himself from the past.

 _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…_

Hamilton counted to eight in time with Lafayette's labored breathing, Lafayette's entire body heaved every time he took a breath, and he looked exhausted even in sleep. There was a slight wheeze whenever he exhaled, and he constantly twisted and turned, restless.

 _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…_

Hamilton didn't dare to go back to sleep.

 **I'd like to give you a virtual hug if you made it this far. Cudos to you for being able to stand it for this long. I hope you liked it. Just to be clear it was 9,000 words without my edits, anything in bold does not count toward my final number of words. if you count edits in bold the the word count is 9,336.**


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